Since joining the Church of Macintosh, I have found peace and fulfilment. Finally, after years in the computing wilderness, I finally feel I have found somewhere that I belong. Don't you want to belong?

Comparing Apple to the Church of Scientology

Scientology	Apple
Banned in Germany	Not banned in Germany
Believe that our destinies have been shaped by an ancient alien warlord trapped in a volcano	Believe that PowerPC chips can compete with Intel on price and performance
Believe they can measure your well-being through the electrical conductivity of your skin.	Believe they can alter your well-being based on what colour your computer is.
Will take large amounts of your money and brainwash you.	Will take large amounts of your money and brainwash you... but at least you get to keep the computer.
Each stage you reach, you will find yourself needing more expensive treatment.	Each product you buy, you will find yourself wanting more and more expensive hardware.
Defectors from the church are considered non-people, and may be targeted for abuse.	Defectors from the platform are considered mad, and will be flamed.
Celebrity endorsers include Tom Cruise and John Travolta	Celebrity endorsers include Trent Reznor and De La Soul
Followers talk endlessly about how the church's treatments saved their lives.	Followers talk endlessly about how they hooked up to their friend's iPod over wi-fi.
Targets people who seem lost and confused, and offers them a personality test.	Targets people who seem lost and confused, and makes them star in "Switch" ads