From a link passed to me by batty, we find Modern Drunkard Magazine's: The 86 Rules of Boozing

34. If you bring Old Milwaukee to a party, you must drink at least two cans before you start drinking the imported beer in the fridge.

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55. If you think you might be slurring a little, then you are slurring a lot. If you think you are slurring a lot, then you are not speaking English.