During a discussion on IRC about the merits of helping people, I remembered something I wrote years ago on the subject.

I Will...

• I will help people who are willing to help themselves.
• I will help people who respond to advice critically, and demonstrate that they understand what was said, and can extrapolate further from it, and possibly teach me something.
• I will contribute advice to a forum, since that way I get back far more than I give.
• I will offer my opinions to anyone who is stupid enough to listen.
• I will help friends, secure in the knowledge that if I don't have time to help, or it's getting annoying, I can just say so, and a friend will be considerate enough to stop asking.
• I will help anyone who pays me enough. However, I don't do a similar deal for aggravation and personal abuse.
• I'll aggravate and personally abuse people for free. :)