The Fishbowl

Calm Zen Centre

About six months ago I went through some Pretty Nasty Personal Shit. Don't worry, this post isn't about that, well only in passing, anyway. Women were involved. 'nuff said.

Anyway, around that time, I developed something of a mantra. When I felt like screaming, I just said in a conversational tone to whoever happened to be around, “I am the calm, Zen centre of my world.” And you know what? It worked. It still works. Just a little mantra that puts my mind into a place where I can recover my balance, and move ahead.

The most incongruous part of the sentence is the most important. Not “the world”, but “my world”. Saying this took away any opportunity I had to redirect my problems away from myself. This was my world, I was at the middle of it, and all these things resting on my shoulder had to be dealt with. It's a remarkable way of clarifying your situation, of stripping away all your denials and attempts to evade. I am the calm, Zen centre of my world. This is where I am. I am going to attack this problem with my calm mind, and find the best path forwards.

The Bene Gesserit litany against fear springs to mind, for some reason: “I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”.

I am the calm, Zen centre of my world.

Om.