Meanwhile, on the set of the World of Warcraft movie…

July 25, 2014 9:20 AM

On set: director Duncan Jones, and actors Ben Foster, Dominic Cooper, Paula Patton and Travis Fimmel.

Director: OK, I’m pumped! Finally out on location shooting after all that time stuck in pre-production! OK, Scene 26. Ben? This is a crucial scene for you, as your character Medivh is succumbing to the influence of the evil Titan Sargeras, who wants to destroy all the livin…

Ben Foster: Is this necessary? Just start shooting already.

Director: But I feel it’s important we establish your motiv…

Dominic Cooper: This movie is going to take forever at this rate. Why are we only doing one scene at a time? We’re all experienced actors, we could handle four or five scenes at once easy.

Travis Fimmel: Go. Go. Go. Go. Go. Just roll the cameras and we’ll be fine.

Director: Er… Huh? OK… I guess we just go with this… Sound ready? Roll cameras. Dom? Walk to that mark and say your line.

Dominic Cooper: What’s my line?

Director: Er… Someone remind Dom what his line is?

Cast: Silence…

Director: Does anyone know what their lines are?

Cast: More silence…

Director: For the love of… You were sent the script a month ago! The least you could have done is read it before you showed up!

Travis Fimmel: I never read the script. I find I understand the film better if I just follow what the other actors are doing for a while.

Director: This is totally unprofessional, all of you.

Paula Patton: Don’t tell me I don’t know what I’m doing! I have an Academy award!

Director: No you don’t.

Paula Patton: …it’s on my other account.

Dominic Cooper: Wait a minute… Paula is a girl? For real? Where are you from?

Director: Oh God… I give up.

Any resemblance to real people is purely coincidental.

Previously: Software Development Sucks

Next: Google, Twitch, and the inexorable grind of capitalism