There are few things more intimidating to the single, heterosexual male than clothes-shopping. I find that even walking into a clothes shop, with its bright lights and fashions I know nothing about is a chore that I can successfully put off for anything up to six months, or at least until all my existing wardrobe has faded, been eaten by moths, or fallen apart.
Case in point, I own one sweater. I bought it when I was in Santa Barbara visiting Danna, who while sadly not filling the role of girlfriend, at least performed the vital function of pointing out things that looked neat, and when I found a candidate, taking that important step of telling me if I looked stupid wearing it. I've been unable to work up the nerve to buy a sweater since1.
Now one could possibly describe Danna's own fashion sense as 'eclectic', but it's that "Do I Look Stupid?" test that I'm simply unable to perform on my own. As such, I tend to just pick out clothes that are unremarkable, similar to what I've always worn before, and, well... black. I always worry that I basically look like my mother dresses me (I probably do), but that would be unfair to my mother--she has remarkably good fashion sense, and I'd probably be better off if she did.
My only real concession to not wearing black is my penchant for purple shirts: a habit picked up from long association with Lonita and (again) Danna. This isn't really fashionable, but it does significantly increase the (already disturbing) number of people who look at me and immediately assume I'm gay. (Or at least, that I'm one of those unfortunate fashion-deficient gay men who really need a nice boyfriend to tell them what to wear).
Partly, I blame men's magazines. Women have thousands of publications they can get away with buying that spend some of their time examining in great detail what looks good or bad on both men and women. The only equivalent for men are magazines like FHM, which devote 90% of their copy to pictures of women in their underwear, and I'd thus feel embarrassed buying.
Maybe I'm being a neanderthal here, a historical throwback due to my life as a computer nerd. Maybe the modern-day Metrosexual man scoffs at my inability to work out if that jacket really makes me look like a prat or not. I doubt it, though. After all, the archetypal Metrosexual is David Beckham, and I bet Posh picks out his clothes.
Major shopping centres need to offer a Rent-A-Girlfriend service. They meet you at the door, act enthusiastic, drag you around the shops for the afternoon (frequently dragging you into womens' clothes shops and making you hang around while they "oooh" over tops, just to add that air of authenticity). Nothing sordid would be involved, they would just have to convince me that they cared enough to be giving me honest advice.
Until then, you'll find me here looking at my brand new purple shirt, and almost-but-not-quite black t-shirt.
1 Well, I came that close to purchasing one today, and it was even a colour other than black and quite (I believe) stylish. But the shop-assistant noticed there was a hole in it, they had no more in my size and after taking the plunge on it, I didn't have the courage remaining to find something else. D'oh.
I here you dude.
I’ve been known to steel/borrow my friends girl friends to go clothes shopping.
You just have to hope that they don’t get too experimental. Using you as a test for their boy friends.
You have a point there Mick.
I think there's a huge difference between female friends and girlfriends when it comes to helping you choose clothes.
It's all very subjective, and will vary greatly from girl to girl... but here's a quick theory:
The idea of gay man being a girl's best friend is not new. Perhaps the lack of sexual attraction makes girls feel more secure?
Now even though Charles is not gay, would a girl (assuming she has a partner) really choose clothing that enhanced his manliness?
This is NOT to say the purple sweater is gayish (pink* would defenitely be though), but would the same girl choose it for her boyfriend?
You can probably get some hints from their speech like: would she say "Oh, that's really sweet! How nice!" or would it be "Wow! Easy, tiger!"? ;)
* - I challenge any girl who chooses pink clothing for her boyfriend to come forward. No way does it happen. White shirts stained by red socks while washing don't qualify as they were not bought pink.
That's a great job for me!
Rent-a-girlfriend (for clothing) is available -- and it's free. Call Nordstrom and set up an appointment with a "personal shopper". They will ask you a bunch of questions about what you like and what you are looking to do and then set up an appointment for you. When you arrive you will be taken to a quiet area where clothes will be waiting for you to try on. And the personal shopper will tell you if you look stupid. This works very well for men who tend to want to shop infrequently and thus want to get a lot of clothes in one visit.
Also, if you spend enough money at Nieman Marcus (and probably Saks, Barney's or any other higher end store) the sales assistant will be glad to have you as one of her "regular" customers and will be glad to help you to look good!
Good luck!
Here's what you need ;P
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk/3158261.stm
I'm interessted in being someone's rental girlfriend.
I want the perks of being a girlfriend without all of the strings...
Is anyone interessted? i live in Nova Scotia, Canada
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hi sweety i wana friend ship with you plz till me now you can for get me but niver can iiiiiiiiiii,,,you are realy cute i like you plz don.t mindid,,ok lol,,,,,sweety,,,honey,,,my cute baby..,,my liver,,,my fority,,my life,,mylove plz add me plz add me....
are you okeyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
why ???????????????????????????????????????????
why you not reply me why?????????????????????????i miss you plzzzz i waite for her...plzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz reply me plzzzzzzzzzzplzplz
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So if your Mom has a good sense of fashion, why don't you take her shopping with you... she'll tell you if you look stupid, and what looks good. Or if pride prevents such a simple answer... find a matronly shopp assistant who isn't commision paid. I am a overnight stocker in the mens/boyswear departments of a Wal*Mart, I help men find clothes that look good and fit them regularily... real men truckers, factory workers even cops... While Wal*Mart may not be the quintessential fashion factory we sell a pretty good selection of a variety of fashions from dressy to dress down. I've helped quite a few college students find their first set of business interview clothes and every age range of fella that "right" outfit for that first date or special accasion, and I'm not alone, my department head (a Dame some twenty years my junior)and I have teamed up to dress a man for a trip or vacation or just something more relevant to our taciturn weather. why you might ask is someone on an overnight shift doing so much...? Because you are not alone in being intimidated by fashion... They show up looking around confusedly and walk away with something their comfortable with and in, and looking good... Maybe its an American thing but I have no problem telling a customer something just doesn't "work" for him. So go shopping for that non-commision sales clerk or take your Mom shopping with you and stop looking gay.
Though I did not think you looked so in your pics.