I have a rather painful history of having to throw out toasters for various reasons I'd rather not go into at breakfast. Yesterday, I finally overcame my toaster phobia and bought a new one. Lessons learned:

• “Spreads easily, tastes like butter”: one of these two will be a lie.
• Slightly burnt toast is sufficient to set off the smoke alarm in my new apartment.
• This is an improvement over my last apartment, where the smoke alarm was hanging by a single wire from the ceiling, and wouldn't be set off by the whole building burning down.
• Vegemite on toast is still the most Aussie breakfast there is.